A: Try out an alternative that leads with mutual respect, such as: “Sir, can we please put a little space between us?”
This suggestion is offered by etiquette expert Elaine Swann, author of the book “Let Crazy Be Crazy: Then Politely Get What You Want, Get Your Point Across, and Gently Put Rude People in Their Place.” Great book title, very timely topic!
Lucky for the feistier folks among us (including Yours Truly, Nerdy Girl Lindsey), NPR has published more of Ms. Swann’s graceful etiquette tips in a wonderful, illustrated article.
Bonus: The article contains a printable pocket etiquette guide with suggested language! Interestingly, admonishing people to “COVER THOSE SCHNOZES,” as we Nerdy Girls did yesterday, was not mentioned as a best practice?! 🙂
Main take-aways of the NPR article:
1. Demonstrate mutual respect. “We” and “us” language works well.
2. Don’t shame or chastise – this can be perceived as an “attack on their moral character,” reducing chances of honoring your request.
3. Let it go if you must, and focus on protecting yourself. If someone belligerently refuses your request, it’s best to, well, “let crazy be crazy,” letting them be. Pivot your focus towards removing yourself from the situation.
I, for one, will be printing out the handy pocket guide as a conversation helper! Together we can stay safe, stay sane, and keep our interpersonal exchanges tactful 🙂
